Winter's First Birthday
On November 6, 2016 at 6:39 PM, you turned one years old. I can’t describe to you the joy it brings to me, the honor I share with your father in wishing you a happy first birthday. From the moment you were born, my soul flew free, wrapped its arms around you and hasn’t left your side since. I picture this process often. I envision a warm, translucent light hovering over you as you explore your world, encouraging you to spread your kindness to everyone you meet.
I feel like one of my biggest purposes in life was to be your mother, to lend you my soul so for safe keeping, and to be your guide and safe haven. I often think about how I got so lucky to have met you. Your inquisitive spirit, your kindred heart and your tenacious attitude all help me remember the important things in life, the small things throughout my day that make me smile, and the hope that I have for our world because you are in it.
While I have struggled with adhering or believing in only one religion, I do know that I see and feel God’s glory when I look at you as I could have never painted a more beautiful human or soul if I tried.
This past year has been a whirl-wind of emotions, the steepest learning curve I have been faced yet the happiest I have ever been. With each new day I get to be your mother, I am better, I am more whole. This past year, my identity has transformed and morphed into something I am so proud of. And while I promise to hold and respect the roll as your mother, I also plan to show you the other things that fulfill me and that I am passionate about. One of my favorite things to do with you right now is to play piano together. Watching you beat on the keys with a smile on your face brings me so much joy and I can only image the melodies that we will create together in the years to come. I also can’t get enough of our walks together. The way you stop and touch the leaves on the ground, or notice a bird chirping in the trees, or the smile you get on your face when we hum and run all remind me to slow down and observe the beauty in the world because there really is so much of it everywhere. I am grateful that you bring that awareness to me in my life.
Bath time is also my favorite. You have always loved the water. Even while I was pregnant with you, I felt an ease and sense of security while I was swimming in the ocean which something I had never experienced before. The ocean is one of my greatest fears but I promise to not let my insecurities and fears hinder you from exploring your world. If anything, becoming your mother has made me feel less afraid of the “what ifs” and more in tune with the “right now”. You see little one, as I continue to type, I realize that while it is my duty to teach you how to be a kind, independent and confident human, you have already taught me so much in return. I love being your mother. Thank you for this past year and happy first birthday!!