Oh the holidays. Now that we have two kids, we are traveling less to be with family, and inviting the family to come to us instead. I don’t know about you, but I find that I vacillate between two buckets of thinking when it comes to the holidays. Bucket A includes ecstatic emotions, smiling as big as Buddy from Elf when he finds out Santa is coming to the North Pole, and becoming fully engrossed in daydreaming about how our family traditions will be experienced by my two small children. Bucket B, on the other hand, rudely points out that I have two full time jobs, I have little to no time to do things like clean the house, and I have massive stress about the logistics of hosting. What will everyone eat? What activities should I plan?

To limit the amount of time I am stuck in thoughts associated with Bucket B, I have partnered with Merry Maids to put together 5 tips I plan to employ to stay sane while hosting the holidays:

5 Tips to Help You Stay Present in during the Holidays

When in doubt hire it out: If you are worried about the logistics involved in “doing it all,” make a list of what you hope to accomplish, then begin prioritizing the items that mean the most for you to do yourself. Your Thanksgiving list might include: Cleaning the house to make it guest ready, meal prepping for the days leading up to Thanksgiving, preparing the Thanksgiving meal, raking the leaves, planning activities for the family to do together, travel logistics like figuring out who is getting grandma from the airport, etc. Next, look at your list and decide if there is one thing that you can take off your plate by hiring out. For me, it is super important to bake and decorate cookies and less important for me to be the one to clean the house. Hence why I asked Merry Maids to come to help. I kindly asked them to focus on the refrigerator, because I couldn’t imagine bringing home groceries for the entire Thanksgiving week with a hot mess of a fridge. They did an amazing deep clean, and afterwards I felt like I was much more inspired to go shopping and meal prep. Plus no more clutter allowed me to take inventory to see what we truly needed.
Perhaps for you, it is important to meal prep for the week and less important to physically greet the family at the airport. Arrange for your family to take a car services like Uber or Lyft. If cooking is causing you the most overwhelm, there are options to reserve a baked turkey, side dishes or desserts from your local grocery store to pick up the day of the event. Or hey, who even says you need a Thanksgiving turkey? Maybe Mexican food sounds more up your ally. I am saying it is entirely okay to NOT do it all, and hire some of it out if you can.
Schedule in “me” time: Even though it can be so life-giving to be around family, it can be draining too. Allow yourself to duck out. Take a warm shower while listening to your favorite podcast or take the dog for a walk alone. It’s okay to have some space. Make a mental list of brief activities you can do to take a moment alone and recharge. You’ll be a better host or guest if you.
Let go of expectations: You know what I am talking about. You picture everyone writing down three reasons why they are grateful, then putting them into a pot to be randomly read. In your mind, it’s a scene from a romantic Christmas comedy where everyone is gleeful and harmonious. But then comes reality and it goes something like this: As everyone begins to write, your one year old envietably has a level 10 meltdown and you end up soothing him in the bedroom, alone, while listening to your family laughing outside your room. You feel crushed that you aren’t part of the activity and begin to wonder why you even planned it in the first place. One way I have learned to not be disappointed by unmet expectations is to practice being mindful. By allowing your experience to unfold without judgement or ideas of what “should” happen, allows you to be in the moment and soak up the good bits even in the midst of chaos. For example, you might begin to feel a twinge of disappointment that your one-year-old chose dinner time to melt down, but instead of allowing the sorrow to take over, notice your frustration, then shift into the precious moment with your son. Notice the way his hair looks in window light, tune into the sound of his breath, into the sounds of your breath, and for that moment, say something like “I accept this.” Make your own list of gratitudes. You do not need to be at the table with your family to feel grateful. This will help you work through the discomfort and be more open to experiencing the event as it is, instead of what you think it should be. You’ll come out of the bedroom, feeling open, receptive, and much lighter than you would have been if you had sat in there sulking about how your holiday did not go according to plan.
Keep a gratitude journal: Every night before bed write three things that you are grateful for – the moment when your daughter and your mother stirred the cookie dough, the way the air felt when you stepped outside to take out the trash, the coziness you felt when you put on your slippers. Gratitude truly gladdens the heart and will help you keep what is truly important in the forefront of your mind.
Ask for help: You do not need to do it alone. This tip comes back full circle to number one. It is perfectly okay to ask for help. Perhaps you ask your neighbor to watch your eldest for 30 minutes while you change the sheets on the bed, or ask your spouse to do double duty on the bedtime routine so you can have an extra 30 minutes to write out the grocery list. The holidays are about connection, not production. It’s okay if everything is not done perfectly or if you didn’t make the meal. It’s okay to ask for help, to hire it out, or to opt out completely.

This was our refrigerator and freezer before Merry Maids (yikes)!

This is after Merry Maids

I want to thank Merry Maids for being open to my idea to share these tips. When they came over, they were so thoughtful and asked me what would be the most helpful. As we walked through the house, they were so giving with their time and pointed out things that I hadn’t even given a moment of attention to, like the stair railings or the drywall on our ledges where our plants are.

Not only did they save me time, they cleaned my house with such detail, I noticed how incredibly welcoming the house felt afterward. I was so impressed with their services, I asked my neighbor to come over to see how sparkling everything was! I have considered hiring a cleaning service in the past but bringing strangers into your home can be a bit worrisome.

All of my reservations were completely gone once I met the team that came by. I will be using them time and time again. I also got the chance to meet the owner of the Denver franchise, and he is one of the most honest, sincere people I’ve come across. I feel so grateful they were able to help clean our house before Perry’s family arrived, and I plan to use them next time too.

And our house is so clean and inviting for the holidays! Thank you, Merry Maids!