I am slowly starting to put the life vest back on. The life vest that I always knew was there but was maybe too proud or too weak to grab for. For the last year, I have set unrealistic expectations for myself. When I am at work, I give 150%; I pumped three times a day while I was nursing, which meant I never got a lunch or any other break and I often felt like I was failing my colleagues because I couldn’t stay late for meetings. At home, I gave 300%; I took care of Winter, I grocery shopped, I tried to cook, I stayed up late to clean the house, worked on my blog, texted my family and friends, and responded to comments on Instagram all while trying my best to stay positive and enthusiastic.
I thought that happiness was doing it all. What was I thinking? I didn’t ask for help. I would often be thirsty or hungry but would refuse to pause to simply use the bathroom because I just kept telling myself that Winter needed me, or my husband, my dog, my house, my family needed me and I would take care of myself once I had tended to their needs. But my time never came and I would often go to bed with an incomplete checklist of what I should do and could be doing better the following day. This was a unique time for me. Every night, I went to bed the happiest I have ever been because I was a mother to the most precious little girl, yet I also had a side of lingering agitation that I just couldn’t seem to kick. I was setting myself up to fail.
I know I have been open about experiencing postpartum depression on social media, but I wasn’t as open and honest about how bad it was with my family (funny how that works, huh?). I finally told my mother a few a weeks ago how much I had been struggling, and she said “that is it!”. Every time you start to make a checklist, write a big fat “ME” at the top of it. I am starting to reframe the way I think and see my “to-dos”, because it just wasn’t working anymore. I have started to discover that my family is staying afloat a lot easier when I am calm, relaxed and fun. I am trying my best to embody the spirit of mindfulness, but at the same time, not ridiculing myself when an old habit show its ugly face.
With my newfound effort in NOT taking the long road in life, I have found some amazing companies that help make my world a little simpler. One being Lillypost, a monthly book subscription that sends a new set of books that were carefully curated by their team to your doorstep based on your child’s age. Like what?
We just got our first box and are already hooked. The books come individually wrapped and Winter loved opening them. It’s like Christmas each month. It also, (and more importantly, if I am being real), takes the pressure off me too. Winter is at that age where she brings me books to read to her all the time and I want to feed this interest because I know how important early literacy is to her learning and growth. But I don’t always have time to search on Amazon for books that she might like or go to the library website to reserve them and then pick them up and drop them back off. This might seem like a minuscule thing in life to worry about, but honestly, it checks off one more thing on my list that I am not in charge of, and I am thankful for that. Plus, each month Lillypost donates one new book for every single box shipped to a charity focused on advancing children’s literacy. So it feels even better to support this company.
Check out some of their past book boxes here.
The other company that has made my life easier is called paper plates. Ha, j/k. But not really. There have been a few nights where I have grabbed for the compostable plates instead of the real ones. I just couldn’t bear the thought of dishes and hey, if it helps keep my zen, even for a little bit, then I am all for it.
What are some of your go-to companies that make your life easier?
Oh and get 10% off any 3, 6, or 12 month Lillypost subscription using the coupon code, LOVEANDLAROCK at checkout.
Bed Spread c/o Urban Outfitters
Dresser c/o West Elm
White Marina Wool Blanket c/o Ohhio
Wooden Dog Toy Pencil Holder c/o Sarah and Bendrix Kids
Frame c/o Simply Framed
Shelf c/o Target
Photography by Brittany Renee'
Thank you to Lillypost for sponsoring this post. As always, all thoughts and opinions are my own.