Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone
Winter is getting to the age where she doesn't always want to be in front of the camera. It takes so much work to constantly build content, answer emails, and connect with others. While my blog is mainly centered around my experience as a mother, I need to respect the wants and needs of my child and keep her best interest in the forefront of my heart. Now, Brittany and I NEVER make Winter do anything that she doesn't want to do. However, it does get stressful at times when we have, say, 4 products or concepts to shoot in one day. And while I am not complaining, because I would rather have too much work than none, it's a delicate balance to be a motherhood blogger. It's a huge decision to not only document your life as an adult but to also capture your child's upbringing on a weekly basis. I have more to say about this on a later date.
I get a lot of questions about how I get Winter in so many photos with me from other moms who struggle to wrangle their child into the shot. There are certainly moments when Winter doesn't want to be held or stay in a certain room so we have to be patient and creative. When we shoot, we really let Winter call the shots and if she's not into something, we take a break or follow her lead on what she does want to do. The main trick is to set up an activity for Winter to engage in. Whether it be snack time, a new toy, playing peek-a-boo, reading her a book, jumping with her on the bed or exploring a new greenhouse or park, we are always trying to make shooting as natural as possible.
It really helps that Brittany is the most patient person on the earth and has been documenting Winter's childhood since she was 8-weeks-old. When we shoot, it's not like work. A lot of time we are just hanging out with Winter, laughing with her and talking about our hopes and dreams for the future. Winter adores Brittany and always runs to her with arms open wide when she sees her. We are 100% in a partnership and Love & LaRock is very much hers as it is mine. I feel incredibly lucky to have a friend and business partner like her.
But despite all our intentions to keep it super low stress for Winter, I am wanting to push myself out of my comfort zone and dip my toes into fashion a bit for two main reasons. 1). I don't want to always rely on my child wanting to shoot. As she gets older, she is going to want to invest her time in the things that make her happy and I would never force her to do something that she wasn’t into 2). I realized one day that I haven't felt entirely comfortable in my own skin or with my identity since having Winter. Brittany recently asked me to pose for a photo alone and I totally froze. I had no idea what to do with my arms or where to look if I wasn't with Winter. Now, while that's not the end of the world or anything, it made me realize that my life has been so engulfed with Winter and battling my postpartum depression, that I forget what it feels like to be just Terra. So while my journey of motherhood will continue to be the main focus of Love & LaRock, you can also expect to see me some of the shots alone, probably rambling about mindfulness or some other hippy dippy stuff.
I hope you stay around and understand the shift a little bit. Perry teases me that no photo of me alone will ever hit over 1,000 likes, because, as he would say, "We're all just here for Winter".
But I feel like it’s time for me to explore who I am again and see myself as both a mother but also as an individual too.