Mantras + Mom Jeans

This weekend turned out to be a downward spiraling mess. If you saw my Instagram stories yesterday, then you know that I have 7 campaigns to shoot THIS weekend. We couldn't shoot in the house yesterday like I had planned because it was snowing and there was absolutely no natural light (meaning that it was too dark to get quality photos). Due to bad lighting, we tried to change the game plan and head to a local Christmas tree nursery.

The first place we went to was the furthest thing from a Christmas tree lot. It was more like a big dirt pile with planted fruit trees without leaves. Once we determined that it was not going to work to shoot there, our choices were to either turn around and go back home and say forget it or try to get to another place.

The next spot that we knew about was another 30 minutes away. We had already been in the car for 20 minutes and my gut told me that it was going to be too far for Winter and that she would get carsick. But, I also knew that the deadlines were piling up and that we had to at least try to knock some stuff off our list. About 15 minutes into our second drive, Winter started showing signs of car sickness. She started yawning a lot and looking really pale. When we reached our destination, I got her out of the car and she looked so sick. She ended up throwing up all over her outfit, on me and on the sidewalk. After reassuring her that she was okay, I began to cry. I felt like the biggest jerk of a mother to have pushed her in the car for that long. I felt like it was all my fault and that I was a terrible mother. By this point, there was no way we were in the mood to shoot and ended up taking her to a local cafe to get her some bread to settle her stomach and rest. Good thing she is super resilient because, within 20 minutes, she was back to her old self, dancing and cracking us up.

We ended up getting ONE shot yesterday and it was a mere accident. Winter insisted on being carried back to the car in a basket that I had packed with all of the items that we had to shoot. You guys, she looked so happy in that basket. I can't wait to share that photo with you. It was the one silver lining of the whole day, seeing her smile while being carried in that basket.

The stress from yesterday has trickled in and I ended up being in the worst mood most of the night and this morning. I am feeling so overwhelmed, overworked and tired. After shooting a video this morning, I told myself to forget the rest of our deadlines and rest. We went to the park as a family, danced in the living room and I read during her nap.

There is a mantra that I say to myself when I feel like the to-do list is too long, "I have nothing to do; I have nowhere to be." I say this to myself multiple times a day when I begin opening up too many tabs in my head so to speak.

This weekend, however, I needed something else to make me feel better. That's when I discovered this one: "My heart is open. Love pours in and out." This is a mantra that I got from the book called You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness. It is one that really resonated with me. I need to imagine myself being able to pull an infinite amount of love from the universe and back into my heart. I know that there is endless love in the universe, I just have to ask for it.

So about these jeans. They are the first pair of Mom jeans that I have tried on and actually fell in love with. They are vintage-inspired and have a high-rise waist. They are straight leg and feature the most darling removable belt with metal grommet detailing. They fit true to size and I am so happy I pulled the trigger on these bad boys. Hurry, they seem to be selling out quickly!

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