Who I am as a Mother
A few weeks ago, I shared on this post how Perry and I started making "To Be" lists, which are primarily a tiny list of adjectives that you want to embody that day. These lists have helped me write set intentions and take the pauses that I need when I find myself becoming reactive.
One day while I was taking a three-minute pause to reflect on how I was speaking to my husband, it dawned on me that the lists that I was creating also mirrored images of how I now see myself as a mother.
This epiphany led me to write this post. There are so many trying moments in motherhood. I never want the moments like this (when I feel like a beautiful, nurturing and badass mother) to go undocumented. I had the idea to write myself an "I Am" letter to remind me when self-doubt, ridicule and negative self-talk kicks in, that I am in fact, a charming and wonderful mother.
I encourage you to join me and just spend five uninterrupted minutes of journaling, writing down why you are so great and the best qualities of your parenting style. The truth is, we are inundated with messages that we aren't doing enough. There are messages of mommy shaming that we see and hear every day and, worst of all, there is that stupid inner critic which is that annoying voice inside our head that tells us that we have to be a "super mom." So how do we fight back those feelings of insecuirty and self-doubt? We write an I AM list.
So here is mine:
I am tender. I am loving and empathetic. Where my daughter's heart goes, so does mine. Instead of becoming overwhelmed and taken over by her intense emotions, I am a calming force. I always get down to her level, tell her that I am here for her, label her feelings and offer my touch in the form of a hug, back rub or holding her in my arms and rock her.
I am extremely patient. I understand that it takes patience to raise an empathetic and independent person. I praise her not just on the outcome but the effort. I have high expectations when it comes to kindness. I instill a sense in her that she is no better than anyone else and no one is better than her.
I acknowledge my shortcomings and apologize when I catch myself being irritable or distracted. I tell Winter all the time that she is safe, loved and important. I say to her that it's okay to make mistakes and help her identify when things are a little problem, showing her how to match her reaction to the size of the problem.
I read to her. I sing to her. I dance with her and rock her to sleep every night. I have the best job in the world. I am the mother of Winter Gates.