It’s been nine months since we moved into our new home and our living room is finally starting to take shape. For months this room has jokingly been called our “lobby” because it consisted of plants, a rug and Perry’s desk (he says he is the house receptionist). Our short term plan is to live in this home for a few more years, purchase another home and rent this one out so we can have two rental properties (we rented our first home out last August).
Read MoreI get asked about my mindfulness practice on a daily basis. I think one of the biggest misconceptions about living a mindful life is that you have to set aside 30 minutes a day or longer to do it. This is simply not true. In fact, I practice being mindful several times throughout the day. I have noticed that by doing even these simple techniques, I am less reactive, more attentive, feel more grounded and am able to manage stress with more ease.
The following is a list of my favorite ways to take one minute to be mindful. Note: You don’t have to do them all in a day to reap the benefits. Just pick one or two from each category and mix them up.
Read MoreA few months ago I would have given anything to be able to say that I was happy. Now, a week before Mother’s Day, I finally can. I remember during one of my meditations a random thought bubbled up about how on this Mother’s Day, I didn’t want anything else in the world other than to experience a true sense of contentment within my heart. A card, flowers, candy or even a special meal prepared by my loving husband just wouldn’t do. In that moment of clarity I experienced while meditating, I decided that for this Mother’s day I was going to love myself and do something that I probably should have done months ago.
Read MoreWinter,
Today, you are a year and a half years old. I am having a hard time starting this letter because I have so much to say, but I am not entirely sure I have the vocabulary to convey it.
I remember writing you a letter the day before you were born (you can read it, here). I was so eager to meet you, little one. When I wrote it, I wasn’t feeling apprehensive about the labor or delivery. I remember the words just pouring out of me. While I typed, I experienced this cool, calm, and collected ease and energy pass through my body. Now, here you are a year and a half later, and that easy-going, serene-like energy is passing through me again as I am typing this today.
Read MoreI have opened up quite a lot on this platform about my marriage, revealing what's it’s been like for Perry and I after having a child. I am constantly learning and evolving, discovering new ways I can better myself and our marriage. I share our experiences because I think it's important. I often wonder why we don't take communication and relationship classes all the way through grade school, high school and college? I feel like so many fights or mishaps could have been avoided if we had just been taught how to fight fairly. I learn the most about my marriage when I reflect and talk to others who can relate. So, I will continue to keep talking about it because, while I don't believe my marriage is quintessential or the holy grail of marriage, it's all I know.
Read MoreNext month is National Mental Health awareness month and after experiencing my own struggle with depression/OCD I wanted to help bring light to this topic in every way that I can. Over the next month, I will be highlighting ways that you can get involved to #normalizePPD. This post features my new friends Ziraffe, who are helping me to raise money to donate to a charity I believe in with my whole being. It’s alarming that “1 in 5 Americans will be affected by a mental health condition in their lifetime and every American is affected or impacted through their friends and family” so keep reading to learn more about Ziraffe and how you too can get involved. (Source: NAMI:National Alliance on Mental Health).
Read MoreI was a much better mother before I had kids because my imaginary children were so much better behaved and more predictable in my mind. I have a higher degree in child, family and school psychology and, while I learned how complicated little ones really are in my studies, I thought that I would be way more prepared to deal with any obstacle or curveball that came my way. As a psychologist who works with kids on a daily basis, I have never pretended to have it all figured out, but I did have some ideas about how to approach difficult situations. When I was around other parents observing them deal with tantrums, whining, or irrational behavior, I would think, in a non-judgmental way (or maybe with slight judgement), oh, if they just did this or this, that would quickly solve the problem.
Read MorePerry and I are finally tackling the basement and going through all the boxes that we never got around to back in August when we first moved. These boxes are filled with old college memorabilia, childhood belongings, art and music supplies and quite frankly a bunch of things that we just don't use.
In my twenties, my friends would make fun of me because I was a bit of a hoarder. Meaning, I attached sentimental value to everything and kept a lot of objects that really didn't serve me. Now that I am in my early thirties, I have realized that the more stuff I have around me, the more chaotic I feel on the inside.
Read MoreI get this knot in my stomach when people ask me if we are going to have another baby. It’s that forward thinking type of question our society asks anyone who has made a major life decision, such as “Have you set a date for the wedding?” after someone gets engaged or “What are you going to major in?” after someone has graduated from high school. I’ve been asked these types of questions my whole life so you think I would be used to it by now, or, at the very least, come up with an automatic response that I could say to appease someone when asked a question like this.
Read MoreWinter's nursery was the first and still the only room in the house that is completely decorated. It usually takes me months to put together my vision (and let's be real, months to save the money to do it) but somehow it came together quite effortlessly until I got to the bookshelves.
I don't know what it is about shelves but they always intimidate me and take me hours to figure out what the heck to put on them that's both functional and fun to look at it.
Read MoreWhen I was 14 I dreamt about owning a Ford F-150 truck. I’ not entirely sure why I wanted to own one but I know it had something to do with the good ol’ American nostalgia I experienced as a kid riding in my grandfather’s truck. I loved being seated up high with the windows down and the music blasting on the open Oklahoma country roads. To make this dream a reality, I got a job as a lifeguard and saved every nickel and dime I had. By the time I was 17 (with the help of my generous parents) I was living my teenage dream and driving my F-150 around town with so much pride. It wasn’t red like Winter’s little Ford push cart, but it was mine, and I can recall feeling a sense of girl empowerment, a feeling that I don’t think I had ever been attuned to before getting my truck. It wasn’t because I had a truck per se, but because I had a dream, worked hard and achieved it. Plus, it helped that I burned the stereotype down in my town that trucks were only for boys, because, hello, NO they are not!
Read MoreWhen I am having a bad day, I feel consumed by negativity. Unfortunately, this makes a lot of sense from a psychological perspective. Our brains respond to negative information three to five times more than they do to positive input. In the old days, this was crucial to survival. It wouldn’t have been wise for our brains to notice the beautiful scenery when we had to be attuned to natural threats such as predators. Even though we aren’t faced with the same threats today, our brain is still wired the same, which is a major bummer if you ask me.
Read MoreI am trying to find the balance between paying attention to my thoughts and the source of these thoughts. I have been consistently practicing mindfulness, taking time to pause, breathe and truly slow down.
But out of nowhere, I have been feeling a lot of pressure located around my heart and feeling faint of breath, almost as if I am drowning. It's puzzling to me that I can't quite pinpoint the root of it all. I know it will pass but for now, I am getting by simply by visualization my happy place which happens to be in greenhouse, surrounded by beautiful plants with Winter.
Read MoreWe've had a few questions about Winter and her breath holding spells, so I decided to write a little bit about what we've been experiencing.
The first time it happened, Perry, Winter and I were in the bathroom while she was taking a bath. She had just turned one a few weeks before. She was overtired and we could tell she was a bit agitated. Winter kept tossing out her toy boat and after the tenth time of retrieving it, I simply put it behind my back because it was clearly becoming a source of frustration. This sent her over the edge. She let out a yell but then looked like she was silently crying, held her breath, arched her back and her face and lips began to turn blue.
Read MoreAt 16 months, Winter is beginning to add new words to her vocabulary on a daily basis. We are trying to raise her bilingual in Spanish and English and just the other day she said her first Spanish word, "Auga" which means water. My heart melted into one giant puddle. I love that she is learning two languages. Winter has also learned how to voice when she disagrees with you by saying, "No, No" (sometimes even with a sassy head nod and finger shake). I may be in big trouble over here guys. :)
Read MoreSince posting about my postpartum hell on the blog (here), I found out that the number one leading cause of death in the first year of mothers is suicide (source). This statistic shatters me. We have to change this! We have to speak out.
I never in a million years could have imagined the amount of women who not only read my postpartum experience but also personally reached out to me through direct messages, emails, texts and comments.
I really want to respond to each of you. You deserve to hear that I see you. I hear you. In the meantime, here are some common questions that I have been asked since that post.
Read MoreOur last home was quickly becoming lush with greenery, flowers and a large garden. But since we moved into a new house in August, we are working with a blank slate which can be exciting but overwhelming too. As we continue to establish our landscaping plans, we have been consulting with the following resources to guide us to make our backyard dreams come true.
Read MoreIt’s taken me one year, three months, twenty-nine days and 7 hours to finally write about my postpartum experience. I know that every type of funk that comes with postpartum depression is equally as awful due to the anxiety, extreme sadness, fear and rage that accompanies it. The type that showed up for me ultimately shook me to my core and it’s gut-wrenchingly hard and embarrassing to talk about. Hence the reason it’s taken me so long to even be able to type it on paper.
Read MoreNegative self-talk surrounds me. I am not immune to it but I am fighting to oppose it viciously. I look into the mirror and see flaws, things I want to chance, things that make me feel less than. But do I dare verbalize them, no? I have a duty you see. My duty is to expose the tiny ears around me that love will always win. Love for yourself, your body, your beauty and even more, all your perceived short comings. My daughter grew inside of me and now I have this beautiful baby, this tiny beacon of hope that is relying on me to help her to fill it up with light, positivity and self-worth.
Read MoreWe tried to take Winter to a local restaurant this past Friday. When we showed up, I thought it would be a blessing that it wasn't too crowed when we arrived. Nope, I was wrong. By the time the appetizer had come, Winter had played with everything in my purse, climbed on top of every empty seat, grabbed the squirt bottle from the server's station and screamed in protest a few times. Needless to say, we chugged our beers, pounded the app and bailed as quickly as we could with a huge sigh of relief when we made it back home. Some moments, I feel like I am raising a wild animal.
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