I am in awe that I am nearly in my third trimester. The first part of this pregnancy seemed to go so slowly. I spent many days in bed or the couch wondering when I would start to feel better. Now that I have my energy back, I am staying super busy, and it seems as though I blink and the day has come and gone.
Read MoreThe other day I was staring at Winter wondering how in the world I was ever going to love another a child as much as her? I know, I know, everyone says that your heart expands with each child and that I can absolutely love more than one, but for that moment, it just seemed unfathomable.
Because it took a bit to get pregnant (9 months), I have been so focused on staying grateful for this pregnancy. Most days I am overwhelmed with gratitude, but I would be lying if I said that it was all happy thoughts.
Read MoreI cannot believe that we are halfway through this pregnancy journey with baby #2. Yesterday we had an anatomy scan. The doctor that performed the scan was about to retire, yet his joy for seeing the baby was like he had just started his job. Seriously, he was the jolliest old man. He kept saying that he had never seen a baby smile so much and commenting about how cute the baby was. It made me even more excited for this baby to come. Winter and Perry went to the appointment, and it was so lovely to hear Winter talk about what she saw on the screen and ask questions about her baby brother or sister. We feel so blessed to know that this baby is healthy.
Read MoreWhen I wrote this post, my view consisted of the beach, waves, and people enjoying the sunshine and beautiful palm trees. There was absolutely no reason to complain. Except, I keep sitting here thinking what could have been and romanticizing the video clip I had imagined in my mind. You see, about a month ago, I looked over at Winter and something came over me. This emotion that I had never felt before, the longing of another baby. Before, when people would ask, I would cringe at the thought of another child. The idea of it all made me feel sick to my stomach and full of fear. Postpartum depression hit my family like a banshee out of hell and I could not, would not, risk putting myself or my husband through that again. Fear would win in my mind, and for the longest time, I thought our family size of three could be complete.
Read MoreI get this knot in my stomach when people ask me if we are going to have another baby. It’s that forward thinking type of question our society asks anyone who has made a major life decision, such as “Have you set a date for the wedding?” after someone gets engaged or “What are you going to major in?” after someone has graduated from high school. I’ve been asked these types of questions my whole life so you think I would be used to it by now, or, at the very least, come up with an automatic response that I could say to appease someone when asked a question like this.
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